=====
Mr. L was an esteemed violinist. He was the First Assistant Concert Master for a cosmopolitan philhamonic orchestra. What that means is he plays violin for a living in a big band. He doesn't just play, he is the third in command. If the conductor and the concert master dies in a concert, he's the one resposible to lead them through the rest of the music. He would be the commander-in-chief. I don't think that has ever happened, just like there has never been a Speaker of the House that sat in as President. What did happen was when the concert master was out, Mr. L would lead the orchestra through rehearsals and concerts, and play solo.
Some people are scared to play solo. I have never been scared of that. If you know what it means to be in crossfire, to face bullets and dodge land mines, you won't be afraid to play solo. What's the worst thing that can happen to you? You make a mistake, you miss a note, you miss a beat, you are still alive. When someone is trying to kill you, you make a mistake, you die.
Mr. L is a decorated veteran. He's got a bronze star and a purple heart. He always says he's not worthy of the medals. He says the people who are worthy are dead. One day in Vietnam, he left his unit to relieve himself. On his way back, he saw four communist soldiers close by. It was either them or him, someone had to die. Well, he didn't.
To this day I get nightmares about those four people. I know I had no choice. If I didn't kill them, they would have killed me. It's not like we could have sat down for a cup of coffee and then go our separate ways. But I still feel - I'm not sure what I feel - it just feels wrong to take someone else's life. I mean, these guys are people too. They have families just like us. They are husbands, fathers, sons, boyfriends. I never wanted to kill any one.
=====
I first started taking lessons from Mr. L in 3rd grade. I couldn't understand half of what he said, so for the first couple years, my dad would come with me and translate. Most of Mr. L's students called him by his firstname; my dad insisted on calling him Mr. L. So I also called him Mr. L. When I first started, my dad half-joked that we were getting a good deal - on top of a violin lesson, I was getting an English lesson for free.
When I was in 7th or 8th grade, Mr. L's wife divorced him. Not long afterwards he got into an accident - some people said he got drunk and fell down the stairs. In any case, he couldn't play the violin any more. His students left one after the other, and in the end, I was his only student. My violin-english lessons then became mostly English lessons. I would get about an hour's worth of violin lesson, mingled with a few hours of lecture on whatever happened to be on his mind. These ranged from music theory, economy, religion, to politics. I never could guess what he was going to talk about, but he could always relate these random thoughts back to the Brahms concerto that I was learning. And he would always mention something about Vietnam.
=====
Most music teachers don't like their students playing sports, especially high-risk sports like basketball and volleyball. In these games, fingers are routinely jammed, and months of musical training could all go down the drain. Mr. L was different. He couldn't care less.
Don't worry! Go play! Your fingers will be fine. Besides, at your age, the important thing is to find something that you love so much, that you are willing to die for it. Martin Luther King said that you have not truly lived if you do not have anything that you are willing to give up your life for. What kind of things are worth dying for? Probably not violin or volleyball; some people say Freedom, Justice, Faith. But that is something you have to find out for yourself.
=====
Mr. L is an American. Unlike other teachers, he was always positive and encouraging. I had a report card from the music school one year, and the examiner said my intonation was poor in one of the pieces. I showed Mr. L the report card and he just laughed.
I know this guy. Trust me, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Your intonation is fine. If anything, this guy is jealous of your vibrato. I told you you are gifted with the virbrato. Next time you play this piece, just remember to show off your vibrato.
I don't think I thought twice about that - but I am quite sure the examiner was not jealous. Even now, my intonation is not the best, and I could only imagine how bad it could be back then. Vibrato, by the way, is the best cover up on the violin if you missed a note.
Not all teachers are like that. After my wining performance in a solo competition, another teacher with Soviet Union and Chinese backgrounds came up to me and said, "Your slow movement was too slow, too dragging."
The Chinese has a saying that "the deeper you love, the harder you criticize". If Mr. L were Chinese, he didn't like me at all.
=====
In my 8 years with Mr. L, his life changed a lot. His wife left, he lost his livelihood, and all his students left him. Yet despite all these horrible things, I have never seen him angry at anyone. The only time I thought he was angry was when Clinton became President.
I don't understand how anyone could vote for Clinton. The man is a coward. I don't think he should even be called a man. You have respnsibilities as a citizen; if you don't get them done, you are not fit to become President. When you country needs you to go to war, you don't run away, and come back to become commander-in-chief. If you are too chicken to be shot at, you can't decide if anything is worth sending someone else's kid to get shot at. If you don't understand the consequences of war, you can't make the decision to go to war.
I don't know what Mr. L has to say about the war on terror; he never said whether he thought Vietnam was justified as something worth dying for. I also wonder, if he were to meet with the current commander-in-chief today, what he would have to say.
No comments:
Post a Comment